About that...

Okay, so I know I promised that I'd be updating more often and then just sort of disappeared, but I've been busy!

We were able to take a long vacation so we came back home for a month so that we can celebrate with our families.

We've been shifting back and forth between the families to ensure equal representation with each side (its been an issue in the past, trust me)

This doesn't leave a whole lot of time for blogging, but I found something that I thought you should see.

I have a new camera and it takes awesome pictures.


Yup, so be on the lookout for some new posts coming up soon!

Tis the Season...

Normally, I'm not one to do product placement or endorse a company that I've never used. This is going to be the exception to that rule because they have done a wonderful job of bribing me with free holiday cards!

Shutterfly is doing a promotion where they are offering 50 free photo cards to bloggers in exchange for a short post, spreading the word.

I've never actually ordered from Shutterfly. In the past, I've always used ArtsCow.com but recently I'm not really happy with ArtsCow and I've been looking for a new photo gift center. Shutterfly was recommended by several people that I've heard of before so I decided to take a look at some of the holiday card templates that they have to offer.

Holy crapballs, Batman. These are so cute!

Their holiday cards are absolutely adorable and if you are looking for an inexpensive way to personalize your greetings this is a great option.

They also do photo calendars, photo canvas, and thank you cards. I may have found my new photo gift website.

Now, spread the word to all of your blogging friends so that they can share in the awesomeness. Generosity should never go to waste!

Sometimes I go outdoors.

Momma? I think I ate some dirt.

I know it's hard to believe, but sometimes we leave the house. Today, in fact, we went for a 2 mile hike with our pretty little lady.

This is the longest hike we've gone on together, and Alyssa's second hike ever.

She got to ride in the hiking backpack since it was way too far for her to walk, and she seemed to have a really good time.

On the way back to the car, she even fell asleep in the hiking backpack-- she was sooooo tired!

Since I was finally able to find the charger for our camera, I took some pictures and thought I would share. Enjoy!

MOMMA!  I KNOW I ATE SOME DIRT! IT TASTES BAD!

This is a drain that ran under the old railroad.

Would you like to eat some dirt too?

HEY! What's that?!?

Wilderness Stairway

Best. View. Evar.

Can I have some more dirt?

I can haz non-toxic bags?

It seems like China is always in the news for some recall or or lead filled toy of doom.  From toothpaste, to baby formula, to bibs, toys, dog food, furniture, drywall, shoes, clothes, and now even our reusable grocery bags, it becomes hard for me to ignore the health threats that keep working their way into our homes.

I may be highly opinionated, but I do my best to keep my mouth shut when it comes to international relations. Mostly because I don't want my blog popping up on some watch list, keeping me from boarding an airplane or crossing state lines, but also because some people that read this may not personally know me or understand the humor that I try to impart.

With that being said, I'm about to be as serious as I have ever been.

Buy local. Buy handmade. Stop buying goods that are made in China.

"But I can get Chinese goods for a fraction of the cost!"

That's because they are so full of poison that even China won't use them.

Now, if it were just one or two things every now and then, I'm sure we could all look past it and chock it up to accidental contamination. Everyone is allowed a mistake or two and I don't think one instance of lead in baby spoons or one case of contaminated paint could really be held against the single biggest exporter of rubber bands shaped like sea creatures.

This is bigger than that.

Bigger than Antione Dodson.

Bigger than... well... China.

This is about self preservation.

Now, if consumers band together we can convince manufacturers to enstill more strict regulations and testing, bring jobs back to the US, and keep prices reasonable.

They won't listen to calls, letters, or even protests. The only language they speak is money. Money that a lot of us don't have right now. The plus side of the recession is that we are more choosy about where we spend our money.... the downside? Chinese goods are cheap.

I've already been avoiding Chinese made goods as much as possible and I urge others to do the same. I know we can't completely avoid them (unless you're the type that makes everything yourself. EVERYTHING.) but even cutting back a little may help make an impact.

This is as domestic as I get

After writing a paper, finishing up some assignments, and various other tasks of a stay at home mom/college student/Avon Lady, I was lazy when it came to dinner.

 Fortunately, I found salvation in my freezer.

  +

 

 =

 

(I do not own these images. They are for humorous reference only.)

Thankfully, no one seemed to mind the corn dogs and tater tots I plopped onto their plate (Ally seemed to thoroughly enjoy it) because I was unwilling to go get fast food and there were only so many dinner options. 

Now if only there were a shortcut for dishes....

The hits just keep on coming.

So, my husband had knee surgery last week, all three of us have whatever bug is in fashion this season (Respiratory crap, thank goodness. Last time we got the tummy bug... not fun.) and our computers keep glitching out in the middle of our assignents.

If life were simple and easy, I would have never developed a sense of humor. As it is, my husband, myself, and even our little critter are all shaping up to be world famous comedians.

Since we've all been stuck in the house together, I have heard more laughter.

Alyssa's new favorite word is "chihuahua". I don't think she knows what a chihuahua is, but it makes me laugh every time she says it. She blows kisses to people at inappropriate times (like when the doctor was asking my husband about his symptoms... she's such a flirt!) and refuses to wear her clothing correctly.

My husband has been medicated, which always adds to the hilarity, and I have been feeling rather yucky so just about anything will make me laugh.

If someone walked into our house they would probably assume that there was a gas leak or we'd been pumping laughing gas through the heater and we would all be committed. So heed my words, STAY AWAY!

We want to keep our germs and our insanity to ourselves. Though once we are well, I will be glad to share some fresh baked cookies.

I wish I could go back to college...

Oh, wait. I did.

In what I consider to be one of the least informed decisions of my entire life, I chose to go back to college.

I, literally, took five minutes to make the decision and classes started a week later.

Classes started yesterday, in fact.

I'm already ahead of the class. By two weeks.

If I had done online courses in the first place, I would have received my degree ages ago and not racked up so much pointless debt.

What. The. Fuck.

My biggest hurdle in my previous college experience was actually going to class. Once I drove to the school I had to find a place to park. Once I parked, I had to walk a friggin long way to get to class. Once I was in class, I had to think about how to quickly get to my next class.

I might also point out that I did not have a parking permit, which added a level of danger to the daily parking dillema. "Oooh, there's a close spot. Oh, it's in permit parking... What are the chances they'll tow my car?"

I ended up with a crapload of parking tickets.

I only had to pay one or two.

After tuition, books, etc., there just wasn't enough money left over to buy a parking permit. I don't like to break the rules, but sometimes you just have to.

Hell, my third semester I couldn't even afford books! (ask me how well that went. Go on. I dare you.)

This time, I don't have to get dressed, I don't have to drive anywhere, and my books are paid for thanks to the military.

And thus, I have almost completed the course on the second day of class.

My husband is also taking online classes at the moment (study buddy!) and he's currently in the class I'll be taking next. No, I'm not going to steal his papers and assignments. I'm going to go ahead and get the next course's work out of the way once I finish this one.

I start that course the day after my current course ends.

Woohoo!

Rant to the Universe

Dear Universe,

Why do 1x1 fabric storage cubes cost so friggin much? It is a collapsable 1 foot cube of fabric and I should not have to pay more for said cube than for a new dvd. I get why dvd's are expensive. They have to pay actors, studios, fees, cover their own costs and try to make a profit. You are a cube. A fabric cube. Not even a handmade fabric cube. They can probably make about 50 of you in under a minute. There is no reason that you should be so expensive.

Hoping you are well, 7daytrial.

I'm Back!

Hey, Wow, Guess what? I've neglected my blog for so long that I probably don't have any readers anymore.

But that's okay. It's not about comments, it's about expression. Right?

So anyway, since April I have 1) Gone 'home' for 2 months, 2) found out that we will probably be moving just after Christmas, 3) torn a muscle in my back leaving me in the hospital two days before my daughter's 1st birthday (fitting, no?) and generally done awesome things with awesome people.

Presently, my daughter has an ear infection, my husband just had knee surgery, I am sick, and we're all cooped up in a very messy house (My standing rule is, if I have a fever I don't clean. It just isn't fair to be sick and do housework.)

Interestingly enough, I couldn't really get out of the house even if I wanted to since... Well, my husband and I accidentally threw my wallet away last week. In said wallet was my debit card, military id, $140 cash and a very special pin of my Mammaw's (who passed in February)

Currently, that wallet has been crushed into oblivion and buried under 5 inches of dirt at the Mesilla Valley Disposal landfill in Las Cruces, NM.

Very. Expensive. Mistake.

But we are moving on.

My husband and I are starting college again, I'm still running my Avon business, and Alyssa is just as active as ever.

If you are still reading, say hey and let me know. I promise I won't wait another 6 months to respond.

Mommyhood

Being a stay at home mom is pretty awesome. Most days.

Then there are the days when you keep glancing at the clock, waiting for your spouse to come home so that you can get a few seconds to catch your breath.

Right now, we are experiencing an atypical lull in the daily excitement. Probably because Alyssa refused to take her nap until she was so exhausted that she just couldn't take it anymore.

So, rather than cleaning or doing laundry... or napping... I'm taking this moment to reflect.

As I explained to my husband before we moved, living in base housing typically costs more than it is worth. "How is that? I thought it was free!" you may be asking yourself.

Oh, no. Allow me to explain.

Base housing isn't what it used to be.

Recently, the Air Force decided that they were going to privatize their housing. Meaning that another company comes in to build and maintain the homes. Since the Air Force gives you a housing allotment each month, that goes straight to the new company. This is a great thing if you are in one of the newer houses with the new appliances, ceiling fans and refrigerated air. This kind of sucks if you get stuck in the old houses.

At this base, the old housing was built in the 50's using a very interesting floorplan. Also, rather than refrigerated air, you get evaporative cooling; more commonly known as a 'swamp cooler'. "Why is it called a swamp cooler?" you probably aren't asking yourself. Because it blows water cooled air into your home, upping the relative humidity and creating a cooling effect of about 20 degrees.

April 1st, it was above 90 degrees in our home. That is not a joke.
I called.

I let the woman know that it was 94 degrees inside our house at that very moment. She called me a lair. "That's impossible. It's only 65 outside. Are you sure your heat isn't on?"

Yeah lady, I'm sure. And rather than 65, it was 79 outside... That's why it was 90+. Not because I live in a magical home of heating.

She asked me if I had our ceiling fans on.

Ummm... we don't have ceiling fans.

However, I did put an oscillating fan in each room to try and make us as comfortable as I could.

She said that maintenance would be out the very next day to install ceiling fans. Might I add that they have YET to show up even 2 weeks later.

Anyway... we got bumped up on the list and they are here to fix our shit today.

Right now.

As I type this.

On a side note- I get very cranky when I'm hot and that leads to posts like this. I apologize.

I've been having to take Alyssa over to other people's houses during the day so that she can be comfortable. Oh yeah, did I mention the fact that most of the people in the squadron (of the same rank and below, so don't even start that shit with me) have refrigerated air so they have been comfortable this whole time?

Did I also mention that we pay the exact same amount to live in the old ghetto housing as they do in the new awesome housing?

Did I mention that it's almost the same amount that we were paying for our apartment in Las Vegas?

I regret, more and more each day, that we didn't buy a cheap house off base.

But I do have to count my blessings. We could be like some of our friends and still have to pay a mortgage on a house in Las Vegas, as well as pay for the privatized housing. In fact, most of the families that are in that situation are living off base because they can't afford to live on base.

Yeah, it's not as inexpensive as everyone makes it out to be.

If we had purchased the inexpensive house we were in love with, we would actually be banking about $500 a month from my husband's housing allowance.

So yeah. When our lease is up we will probably be moving off base.

There is a patch of land for sale not too far from here, and I really thought about getting it. We could easily put a trailer on it, or even start construction on a house.

Right now, my husband plans to get out of the Air Force when his time is up. We love this place and we don't want to leave, so he wants to work as a private contractor. He would be in the same squadron he is now, working the same (or better) hours, and getting paid over 3x as much.

I think it's a good plan, but I kind of hope he re-enlists. If he makes a career out of it, he can retire from the Air Force at 42 and either continue to work elsewhere without losing any of his retirement benefits, or do something else.

In other news, Alyssa has most certainly been eating her Wheaties. She's climbing up the bookcases (which are all anchored to the walls) lifting, screaming, punching, pulling, banging and crawling on everything in sight.

Plus, she's taken a few steps!

It really looks like she's going to be walking by her birthday.

Part of me is excited, but part of me is afraid... Walking. Next thing you know she'll be using the potty by herself, going to Kindergarten and then, eventually, college.

She's getting too grown up too fast.

Is there a pause button? Can't we stay at this stage just a little bit longer?

It isn't fair, I tell you. They grow too fast.

Maybe we should have another one....

Now that Helena is out of the way...

I can move on to more interesting things.

So... We moved! We still haven't gotten everything unpacked, but we are slowly getting everything together.

Right now it looks more like we are taping an audition for 'Hoarders' than like we actually live here.

But, regardless, we are in base housing, so that's a good thing. We would have been making a good chunk of money if we had bought a cheap house in town, but with my Mammaw passing and our car dying, it just wasn't an option at the time. We are still looking because our lease is up in a year, but we can't even get ready to buy anything for a while.

There are some really nice houses in this town though.

I've started making friends with the squadron wives, so it isn't quite as lonely here as it was in Las Vegas. In the time it took me to drive to work, I can drive to a different town and explore all of the stores that we don't have here in BFE. There's even some really great spas an hour and a half away.

And, unlike Las Vegas, their prices are very reasonable.

We are already so much happier here than we were in Las Vegas and with any luck, things will just keep getting better.

On a side note: My in-laws are coming to visit in June. Pray for us.

Helena: The long awaited final chapter

Sorry I've been so sparse with my updates. We are still trying to unpack and I'm a mother of a 9 month old, Oh... and an Avon Lady. It can all become quite time consuming.

So, my parents agreed to watch Ally while we went out with some friends to get dinner. Being the awesome kids we are, we got my parents some ice cream (before dinner... yeah, deserts first!) from Marble Slab as a reward and then we went to Burger King to get food. Well, my husband and I wanted Rally's, since we haven't lived near one in a long time, but no one else did so we went to Burger King first (It's a good thing I didn't want Burger King because after this, I wouldn't have eaten anything in that bag and I have not gone to any location since.)

We pulled up to the order thing and waited to place our order. Two of the three people ordering wanted a chicken sandwich with a different kind of sauce. You know, THEIR way? Well, we were told that they couldn't do that. I was notified that the very same location had done it for them before so I relayed that to the order taker. He was silent for a minute and then told us that it may have been another manager but that he couldn't do it. No big deal, whatever. From the back, my husband yelled "I thought it was 'Have it Your Way!' to which there was no response. A different guy came over the speaker and asked if we wanted to order anything. All three orderers got chicken sandwiches but they each wanted them differently.

Everything was fine and dandy and we were laughing and joking and had moved on to another topic while waiting to pay.

The 'manager' comes to the window to take our payment and the first thing out of his mouth (Note: I greeted him with a smile and a 'hi') is "Do you want to pay for your fucking food or keep calling us a bunch of assholes?"

Say what?

"Um, excuse me?"

"You heard me. We can hear you as soon as you pull up" he started waving his headset at me. "And the whole restaurant heard what you said.

I was stunned. "Sir, we didn't call you that. I'm very sorry if you misunderstood something that we said, but we aren't mad about anything."

"Whatever, we all heard it" he slammed the window and went to run my card.

Amongst ourselves, we discussed what the hell just happened. We ran over the entire thing again and couldn't even come up with anything that sounded like what he accused us of saying.

He came back to the window and threw my card at me.

Again, we tried to resolve the situation but he just slammed the window in my face. At this point, I was pissed.

He came back and threw the food at us "Have a great night, assholes". I calmly asked for his manager, he responded "I am the manager! 'Mike -somethingorother-"

"Okay, cool. Can I have your corporate phone number so I can file a formal complaint?"

"It's on the receipt. Goodnight."

Well that would be great except he didn't give us a receipt.

My Mammaw had just died, I had put up with a lot of bullshit from American Airlines and my in-laws, and I was not about to feel bad because some jerk thought we called him something that we didn't.

Eff that.

We went and my husband and I got food somewhere else. The whole time I was ranting and raging about Burger King. I made sure the guy at the window knew that I was not talking about him or anyone in his wonderful establishment.

After we got our food, we went to my parent's house to eat our dinner. I was mad the whole time and ended up calling the only Burger King phone number that we could find, which was to take a satisfaction survey.... It was a 25 minute survey and we waited through the whooooole thing. Finally, at the end, you were able to leave open comments about the store. After we were done, I just couldn't let it go. I needed to have some kind of closure.

I was going to make a blog dedicated to our story and write complaint after complaint until justice was served. I had also planned to contact a lawyer and sue for harassment and damages.

Well, I talked to a lawyer and he was very eager to take the case. Fortunately, my mom talked some sense into me and I decided to just let it go. The lawyer was sure that Burger King would settle out of court but my mom mentioned what it could potentially do to my husbands career if it went to court and we lost.

I still think they should have refunded our money.

Anyway... we were supposed to go have lunch with my in-laws the next day and we were going to meet halfway. Well, last minute they decided that didn't work for them and wanted us to drive all the way out. I pointed out that if we did that, we couldn't stay as long since we would have to figure in the extra time driving there and back.

We made a counter suggestion that if we were going to drive all the way out there, why didn't they go pick up or make lunch so that we could all eat together and spend a little more quality time. We already had plans that night and they couldn't be moved around since we were leaving the next day.

My mother-in-law started screaming "NO!" at my husband and eventually hung up on him. She started throwing everything in our faces: the fact that we stayed with them for two days, that they let us borrow a car and that they even drove to the airport to meet us.

Since it was obviously such a big deal, we offered to pay rent on the car and for the time we stayed at their house.

That just fueled the fire.

She hung up again and told everyone that we weren't coming.

That started world war 3, with both his family and mine. My parents can't stand the way they act and treat us, and they can't stand the fact that we have to share our time.

Considering we were there for my Mammaw's FUNERAL, I think it was really gracious of my family to not throw a fit. You know, we didn't have to go see them at all. We were not there for a social call. At my Mammaw's visitation, they told everyone how they are coming out here for Ally's birthday and then when we started arguing, my mother-in-law said that they didn't know if they could afford it.

While with his family, everyone seemed to forget that my grandmother had just died. We lived with the woman for 12 years or so and she had just died. Yet I had to put on a happy face and deal with everyone saying how glad they were that we were there. Really? I would rather of stayed in New Mexico and finished unpacking and have my Mammaw still be alive.

Anyway, we finally show up at my husband's grandma's house so we can figure out what the hell is going on, and I got out of the car to take Ally in and change her. Before I could even get Alyssa's pants off, my mother in law had jumped in the car with my husband and my father in law, and told him to drive forty minutes away to pick up food. Then they stopped at walmart on the way back. By the time they actually got back, we had to eat and leave.

Fortunately, I got to talk to the rest of the family while they were gone.

First thing, his Nana hugged me with tears in her eyes and said "Please don't be mad at me. I called your mom to see what was going on. We can't believe -mother-in-law- is acting like this."

I assured her that I wasn't mad at her and that I knew she had nothing to do with it.

While my in-laws were gone with my husband, we all sat there and talked about what was going on. Evidently, that is the only time the situation was addressed.

I have not had a chance to talk to them about their behavior, but when they come down for Alyssa's birthday, you can bet your ass the fur will fly. I am not going to have our family torn up emotionally all the time. I had to live through it when I was growing up (my mom had a bad mother-in-law too), I've had to put up with it since before we got married, I am NOT doing that to Alyssa.

I'm a grown up, I can deal with it.... she's just a baby.

So, after a very tense dinner, we got back to my parents house and I had to be all perky because we had company over.

Once everything settled down, my mom and I got to sit down and talk.... Instead of consoling each other and grieving our loss, my mom had to help me come up with a plan to deal with my in-laws.

She had to go to bed early because she worked in the morning. She requested that we not take Ally by her office since she knew it would be too emotional for her to deal with. That night, my in-laws called and demanded that we bring Alyssa by my mother-in-laws clinic so that she could say goodbye.

It is only because I love my husband that we went. I had already told him that if Alyssa was asleep, we weren't going to wake her up... but wouldn't you know, she was wide awake.

I kept my mouth shut the whole time.

My mother-in-law tried to hug me, but I stopped her. Any physical contact would have just resulted in a lawsuit and I didn't need to deal with that right then.

Anyway, we left and went to pick up my husbands dad since he was going to drive us to the airport and get his car back. The only thing I said was "The behavior displayed yesterday is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. When would be a good time for us to discuss a resolution?"

I didn't say another word to him the entire way there or while we were waiting to check in for our flight.

It was all I could do to keep from screaming my frustration at him.

I offered no hugs or pleasantries when we departed and we had a fairly uneventful flight to our new home.

The next morning, however, our car decided to die.

It was well over $1,000 to get it fixed. For the first time in two years, we have a balance on a credit card. I'm paying it off next month.

We had a string of bad luck for a while, but things are finally starting to turn around.

Let's just hope it holds out.

Helena: The continuing story

Shortly after we got the call, we were in El Paso waiting for our flight to board.

We waited.. and waited... and discovered that the plane was delayed. They kept pushing the flight back so much that we were going to miss our connection, so we called the airline to see what they could do (Seriously. the lady we talked to in person was no help. At all.)

After a few calls, we started to get angry and some other people got involved. We made it very clear that if we were going on vacation it would be one thing, but that if we didn't get home that day, we would miss my Mammaw's funeral. That was not an option for me. I had already decided that I was going to rent a car and drive it if I had to.

Through all of the crap, the airline was zero help and one rep told me to "Suck it."
Yeah, that's a direct quote. Markeesha, if we ever meet, you will regret saying that.

We finally boarded our flight and were told that we would be able to make it to our connection. We ran.

I was holding Ally, running as fast as I could while my husband grabbed the stroller and chased after us. He caught up with me (Hey, I'm fat. Give me a break) and we traded off since he can run faster. Like I said... worst case scenario, I was going to drive.

Anyway, barreling through the airport, I straight up knocked one kid down (I really did ask him to move first... I swear! He just looked at me like 'What are you going to do about it?' and I didn't have time to swerve because there were babies... He was at least 10. I knew he could handle it.) and hit another one with the stroller (Unless he was deaf, he had plenty of time to move. If he was.... I'm very sorry and I did scream an apology as I kept running.)

We got to the gate.

They closed the door as we walked up.

"I know you're ready to leave but that's our flight!"

"Sorry, the plane has already pulled away."

"Umm... no it hasn't. It's right there. There are still people waiting to board!"

"Sorry. We can't open the door. You should have been on time."

"OUR FLIGHT WAS LATE AND WE NOTIFIED YOU 5 HOURS IN ADVANCE!" (yeah, we had quite a layover..)

"The plane has already pulled away from the gate."

"I can see it. right there. *points* There are at least 7 people that are still waiting to board!"

"I'm sorry. Goodnight."

So I went to another agent. We had previously been told that there were no more flights to our desired city. I asked her if they could send us to another airport that might have a flight that could get us there in time.

She said no.

I collapsed on her podium, out of breath and bawling my eyes out.

She rolled her eyes "There's no need to cry. It isn't that serious."

"I know you deal with this every day, but this is very new to me. I'm trying to make it to my Grandmother's funeral in the morning."

"There's a flight that will get there around midnight. Do you want it?"

"Of course I do. Does it have 2 seats available?"

"... *sigh* yeah."

"Wait. What? I was told over 5 hours ago that this was the last flight to -town-. And that there were no other options. And that I was going to miss my Grandmother's funeral and to "Suck it"."

"You're on the flight, have a great day." *turns around to talk to her co-worker*

*turns around with tickets, crazy eyes aglow, muttering* "I will burn this mother down."

At that point I was tired, sweaty, headachey, hungry and mad.

We finally got on a plane and landed. Even our luggage made it.


Helena would have handled that situation very differently. When she first learned that there was going to be a problem, she would have gotten a refund for her tickets and just driven. Thus, eliminating 90% of her frustration that day.

Helena also would never say "I will burn this mother down" in an airport.

Just for safety.

Oh... and my husband and I made repeated jokes about how I was probably going to end up in jail before it was all over. You got the 'lite, condensed, somewhat readable' version...

Anyway.. We are finally home and we do the funeral, then we go to my in-laws house for 2 and a half days. Why? Because they wanted to see us. We figured "Hell, we're going to be here for a week, what does it matter?" It went great and then we went back to my parent's house.

I was able to help mom a little, hang out with some of my friends, and have a pretty good time considering the circumstances.

Then, we went to Burger King.

To be continued....

Helena Handbasket (Part 1 of 3)

If I were to create an alter ego for myself, one that would go back to February first and relive this month for me, I would call her Helena Handbasket. Horribly cliche, a tad overused, full of spunk and way more prepared, I'm willing to bet she would have handled everything much better than I have.

I'm assuming that you remember 'The Move from Hell'. Oh? You didn't read that part? Okay, I'll recap. It would not have been so bad if Alyssa weren't going through separation anxiety. She wouldn't let us out of her sight without screaming loud enough to wake up the entire apartment complex. Most of our furniture required two people to load into the POD moving container, so we had to get some help. Well... that was an adventure in and of itself. Fast forward to the moment we figured out that all of our stuff was not going to fit into the POD. Go a little further to the point where we were madly shoving things into our cars, trying to get the last few piles taken care of. When we realized that no amount of cramming (I earned my Gypsy stripes there... no one thought I'd get as much to fit as I did.) was going to get everything in... we started to give things away and throw the rest into the garbage.

If we had been smart about this, we would have put all of the important stuff into the POD first, knowing that with our luck we would run out of space... Yeah, well, eff you too. We put the heaviest things in first since we knew that we would need to hit as close to 8 thousand pounds as possible. Turns out, we were going to get rid of a lot of our heavy stuff. In fact, when we unload the POD, I think we'll just take most of it straight to the dumpster.

I gave away things that were mostly sentimental in nature, and things that I wanted to keep... somehow, when it came down to the end, we were left with most of my stuff.

Anyway, after all of that drama, we finally made it out of Las Vegas five days behind schedule. With the baby in my car and the cat in My Husband's, we set off on our whirlwind adventure.

We drove as long as we could and made it to Luke AFB to stay the night. It was about 3 in the morning when we finally got checked in, and they only had one option for us.... fortunately, it was temporary housing for officers and we got to stay in this pretty awesome 3 bedroom house. There was one minor setback, however.... they didn't allow pets. We actually had to sign a form stating that we wouldn't take our pet inside.

Sorry, Professor Chaos... He spent the night in his crate in the heated utility room. We didn't leave him out in the cold, but I felt so bad that he had to stay all cramped up at night. He did get a nice bath, though.

The next morning, we checked out of the room and went across the street to eat breakfast. While we were there, we called ahead to our new base to see if their temporary housing allowed pets. They said that they did not and that there was no room in the pet boarding, so they gave us some local numbers. We weren't able to find anything suitable and realized that it was going to be cruel to keep our kitty cooped up for who knows how long while we found housing.

We made a very hard choice and took Professor Chaos Alastor Moody: Eater of Crepes to a no kill shelter in Phoenix. We paid $51 dollars for them to take our cat and promise not to kill him unless he became too aggressive. I bawled like a friggin baby.

I was so messed up after that... like... seriously. I'm tearing up now.

Anyway, that night we got to our new base and checked in to the temporary housing. It turns out that they do have pet friendly accommodations but none were open at the time. ... I felt like an ass.

While trying to fall asleep, I considered asking My Husband if we could go back to Phoenix and pick him up if he had not been adopted yet. I decided that I would ask him when I woke up.

Well, when I woke up, I was going to go to the bathroom and get freshened up a little before addressing the cat situation and I heard my cell phone ring. It was my mom. She was crying. My Mammaw had passed away that morning.

A few weeks earlier, I had tossed around the idea of running home after we got checked in here so that Mammaw could see Alyssa again. If we had gotten out of Las Vegas on time, we would have made it before she passed.... She was in the hospital because her lungs filled with fluid and when they had an indication that she was going to pass, even my relatives that were in the area could not get to the hospital fast enough.

We quickly made plans to go home.


To be continued.

game called on account of rain

So... some unusual weather has thrown a wrench in our moving plans. We were going to be out of here by Sunday, but now it will be at least Monday, possibly Tuesday. The POD will not hold all of our stuff, and patience is running quite thin.

I hope to never live in a place with stairs again. It makes moving heavy things even more difficult.

Also, my daughter seems to have become a wee bit suicidal. Or maybe she's just an adrenaline junkie. Between eating styrofoam, getting herself in the most awkward places, and pulling things over onto herself, she has racked up quite a tally as far as most injuries in a day go.

I have had to save her from certain doom more times that I would care to admit. And before you get mad and say that I was leaving my baby alone while I went off to do stuff... I wasn't. I was right there with her, except once and then I was a room away for about 3 minutes.

After this last bump, I've found myself doing impersonations of Professor Moody from Harry Potter-- "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Now that there are even fewer things to try and use to block her path, someone has to be holding her at all times. She crawls really fast, so she could get stepped on or kicked and we don't have a playpen/have room for a playpen that would be large enough to keep her happy.

Tonight we will be sleeping on an air mattress so we have to make sure everything else is out of that room, just in case she wakes up and goes exploring. Like all babies, she is incredibly curious so everything, no matter how silly, is a toy and goes straight in her mouth.

I hope that we will know where we are going to live soon so that we can go back to our closer-to-normal life.

the final countdown

A few days ago, my husband got his official orders and we are set to go. We decided to do the move ourselves to try and get some extra money. Since we don't know where we will be living or how long it will take to find a place (we are still trying to get on base housing but who knows how long the list is) we decided to use the POD system.

I know you've seen the commercials. It's pretty awesome. They drop it off, you fill it, they pick it up and store it until you are able to officially move in to your new place.

Awesome!

The day it was dropped off, it was just me and the baby. I tried to move things into it, but Alyssa has horrible separation anxiety (gee, I wonder why... ) and starts screaming if you leave her alone. Even if you are still in the room.

I tried to get some help from some of my local friends, but nothing panned out. I was frustrated, but I understand that people have their own lives and no one wants to help anyone move.

My husband found out that one of his really good friends was on leave and had gotten back in town a few days ago, so we called him to see if he could help. He said "Sure, I'll be there in 30 minutes".. I swear he was there in 10. And he brought help.

OMG. He is awesome. We got most of the furniture loaded and about half of the boxes. We're going to finish up tonight and then we celebrate with pizza and beer. Alyssa will be having carrots and a bottle.

This guy is a great guy. But if you want to hang out with him, you have to be prepared to hear some things that might offend even the least offensive person. You see, this guy is a slightly alcoholic, racist, possibly sexist, libertarian and he is highly offensive. It's a good thing we aren't easily offended!

I made a Facebook post about how I thought it was odd that he is the most reliable person we know. Whoa, I opened myself up for a shitstorm there.

I got a lot of angry calls/messages/emails over that one. I'm not sure if one incident was related, but I really hope she knows I wasn't trying to bash her. Ashlee, if you are reading this, I'm sorry if that hurt your feelings. It was never meant to. You know I understand that you have a life and if we had been able to bring her to you, it would have worked out perfectly.

Just so that we are all clear for the future, I will never post a passive aggressive, vague message bashing you in a public forum. Even with our old sitter, O, I spoke to her directly about the problems we had and then I used my blog to vent. 'Oh, she doesn't read it so you can say whatever you want'. No... she does read it. In fact, if you click on the link that says "a handy guide to recognizing the people I'm talking about" her picture is listed. She is a good friend.

Just know that I will never say anything behind your back that I won't say directly to your face. If I'm talking about a situation, we've already discussed it and found a resolution. Even if that resolution is to find a resolution...

I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me, so I refuse to do that to other people.

I'm very sorry if I've hurt anyone's feelings or offended anyone. That was never my intention.

ramblings of a housebound mom

We have decided to say no to fast food.

For the last four years, we have relied heavily on fast food since we didn't have the time or energy to cook. Now that I'm a 'housewoman' otherwise known as a stay at home mom, I have time to do a lot of things that I couldn't do before.

Even though I can't guarantee when something will get done, I am able to make sure that I get a few things done. My favorite part of cooking? Leftovers. That is definitely something we don't get through the drive thru and for, like, 4 bucks I can have spaghetti one night, spaghetti sandwiches the next day, and then some left over pasta during the week. It's day two and I think we've already saved twenty dollars.

The biggest perk is, i can plan out our meals so that we don't have to throw away a lot of food when we move.

My husband just got his official orders, so we will be out of here by the 15th of February.

WOO!!!

We're finally going to move and will eventually be in a real home again, rather than a two bed, two bath 950sqft storage room. We don't have a whole lot of packing left to do since we have been slowly getting non essential items packed since August. Why August? Well, we were first told that we would move in June, then July, Then September, then December.

In other news, I'm trying to transition Ally to her crib. Up until now, we've been co-sleeping. I want my be back. I want to be able to roll over and not worry that I'm going to crush someone too small to push me off. Okay, there's another reason. Ally fell off the bed. We were sleeping, then she woke up and crawled right off the edge. Fortunately, she landed on pillows and was fine, but still... it was terrifying.

It took about forty minutes of crying and me checking on her, but it sounds like she may have finally gone to sleep.

They say that tomorrow will be worse.

Fun, fun, fun!

Just another day

I have moved many, many times in my life but this is the first time I'm trying to get ready to move with an infant. It's a whole different ballgame. Packing has been a bit of a challenge since she has my near-constant attention so it's a really good thing I left my job so early. We were supposed to have been moved already but my husband's squadron keeps pushing back his orders.

With a military move, there are two ways you can do thing. Either they will hire a company to come and pack up all of your possessions, then move you to your new location or they will pay you to move yourself. They pay 95% of what it would cost them to have someone else move you.

So far, we have had the Air Force move us since we haven't had the time/energy/interest to do everything ourselves but this time we are going to take the money.

Some of our friends have already moved to the new location and with their numbers we estimate that we can make about 5-7 thousand dollars by doing it ourselves. Woohoo!

Other than actually doing all of the manual labor (okay, it isn't that bad. I've done it many times before. but it's still a pain!) the only downside is that we don't know where we will be living. We are trying to get base housing because it will simplify a lot of things but there are also a lot of drawbacks. We found a house that is well within our price range (the mortgage would be about $200 a month and since it uses an evaporative cooler rather than refrigerated air, the electricity costs would be fairly low.)

As much as I would love to own a house and be able to do everything I want, if there are openings within a reasonable length of time, we will probably live on base.

For the past 6 months (since they first told us we were moving. Thanks guys.) we have been living in a partially packed apartment. It's starting to drive me a little crazy so I can't wait for us to get to the new town and get settled in.

Oh! Look what Ally can do!







She did this all on her own without any help from me. Happy 7 months, Ally!

Update:

Ally is crawling, sitting up totally unassisted and is getting up on her knees to reach things. I blame her monkey toy. It sings a little song that tells her to "stretch up tall, like a giraffe!" No! keep her low to the ground! There are dangers!

She can also open drawers. And is trying to climb up on the couch...

Man, when they get mobile things move quick!

I have some videos to share but it seems that our Flip Video is missing. Hopefully I will find it soon so I can show you the awesomeness. :D

For now, check this out.
This was two days before she learned how to sit up on her own. How cute is that pose?

Uh Oh

So... my daughter is nearly 7 months old. Which means her birthday is coming up. Which means my birthday is coming up.

Aw crap, another year.

At this point, I have to do something freaking amazing or resign myself to the fact that I couldn't live up to my potential.

What do I mean?

Well, you see, when I was in high school one of my friends parents said the most peculiar thing about me. They said that they envisioned me becoming the next George Lucas. In what way? Doing something pretty cool and having it turn into this amazing, life altering thing.

I have had various opportunities to be a part of something huge, but for some reason I couldn't pay attention to anything long enough to actually do anything.

Sure, I have tons of great stories. But do I really have anything to show for it?

Instead of wowing the masses, I got married to a great guy and we have a pretty cool little lady. That's great too, I mean.. I wouldn't trade it for anything... but what if I had followed one of those random, twisting life paths. Couldn't I still have ended up with my husband and my daughter? Plus a fat stack of cash? Er... I mean

I want to do something!

I have lots of great ideas but there isn't much I can do with them. Maybe I can sell them on Ebay?

The biggest thing is... I kind of think that my work/efforts/stuff will be worth way more once I'm dead. What kind of kick in the teeth is that? 'Oh, you were really awesome and all when you were breathing but now that you're dead, everyone wants a piece of that.'

I don't know. Maybe if I throw myself at everything, something will stick.

Okay, I'm an award winning artist. I guess that counts for something. Too bad I really suck at art. The one thing I've been recognized for is the one thing I feel least good about.

Bah. This is probably just the lack of Zoloft talking.

For those that aren't aware, there was an issue getting my prescription refilled. And don't even be all "well you waited until the last minute, you were asking for it." No. I waited until I had 8 pills left, which was more than enough time to get a refill. Then once I realized this was not going to be an easy task, I started cutting them in half and skipping days. Now I'm totally out.

Zoloft withdrawal is rough. I've been working really hard to get a refill or a temporary prescription but I seem to be caught in the middle of this huge catch-22. the earliest doctors appointment is in almost 3 weeks, so I'm just going to have to rough it.

Expect lots of mindless drivel.

Then again, isn't that what a blog is for?

Goodbye, insecurities

Hello, total pre-life crisis.

Okay, so I'm a fairly crafty person. I have sold a handful of things here and there for side cash.

I'm about to take this to the next level.

To fund my stay-at-homeness, I'm becoming a crafter-for-sale.

It won't happen in the next few days, or maybe even months due to the move, but before the year is out you will see pictures of my completed projects and you will hear all about my mistakes.

I'm nervous. I know my work is good enough to sell, but how do you even begin to price handmade goods during a recession?

I'm going to start out working through the crafting supplies I have on hand, and shipping will be charged separately from the item... that way I don't feel like I'm overcharging too terribly much.

I know that my time is technically worth more, but I'll be making things (which I love) and then getting rid of them (which my husband loves) and putting back some money for Alyssa's future (which she will love when she's old enough to appreciate it.)

If I don't sell anything, I can always say that I tried. With any luck (and a lot of hot glue) I'll be able to make a little bit of money.

What spurred this? I saw a poor-quality, not that interesting wreath sell for nearly $75. Apparently, wreaths are expensive! I make good wreaths. I've had people try to buy the wreaths off of my door.

If I can even make $10 over cost, I'll be very happy.

Plus, I can knit, sew, paint... I can do all sorts of things with paper, and I know what moms are looking for when it comes to kid friendly items.

Nevermind that half finished quilt, I've got more important things to do now!

I'd better start small.

The Many Adventures of an AllyMonster

note: AllyMonster is a game that we play where we growl and she growls back. This has nothing to do with her behavior. She is a good baby.

I have eaten a lot of my words since Alyssa was born. Before she arrived, I said that I didn't want the epidural (I'm soooo glad that I got it when I did. Being maxed out on pitocin for nearly 24 hours was hell. Plus I had to have an emergency c-section. Yay epidural! Can I have another?) that I would not coddle her (yeah, like that was going to work) and that we would not co-sleep.

That one lasted about two weeks.

Growing up, I was 100% sure that when I had a child, we would not be co-sleeping. I often said "If the bible has taught me anything, it's that you don't co-sleep! It's dangerous!" Oddly, of all the bible stories I read/heard growing up, that part of that particular story is what really stuck with me. Not that being a mother means making hard choices for the good of your child, but that you will smother your baby if they sleep in your bed.

Well, after accidentally falling asleep with Alyssa while nursing, I realized that you can co-sleep and not have to choose which end of another kid you would rather have. Mostly it has been pretty uneventful.

Until last night.

This morning I was woken up, not by the usual infant hand hitting me in the face, but by inconsolable crying. I was half asleep so I tried feeding her and rocking her, but neither would work. I finally got my eyes good and open when I realized that there was a weird smudge on her leg. "Is that what I think it is?" You may remember the Olive Garden incident from several posts back. Yeah. It was.

We had woken up a little bit before that and I noticed that she was grunting and straining, but since I was half asleep I didn't really think much of it. Apparently, the force of her expulsion was so great that it blew straight out of her diaper and onto our bed... and pillows... and a little bit on the wall.

I jumped out of bed and swooped her up, trying to contain the mess as much as possible. We both got hosed down and got our outfits changed, then she played with her fancy toys, happy as a clam, while I tried to get our bed back into shape. I stripped the sheets and threw the pillows in the wash, then scrubbed the mattress and wall.

Crisis contained.

A little while later, while we were in the living room, I was keeping an eye on Ally while trying to take a nap. She's on the floor, entertained. What can go wrong, right? HA! Just as I was about to doze off, there was a thud across the room. I jumped up and ran to the baby but she was fine, then I looked over and noticed that our cat knocked all of the glasses off of the bar where the kitchen sink looks into the living room. One of them was half full, as I had been using it earlier.

Did I mention that I haven't been able to get my anti-depressants refilled?

While I was trying not to strangle the cat, I cleaned up the mess. Then I came back to see Alyssa scooting across the floor as fast as her little body would let her. (She hasn't really grasped the concept of crawling, so she just throws herself in the direction she wants to go, then scoots.) What was she after? The cat.

Now, the cat has no claws and has been neutered, so most people probably wouldn't see a problem with this situation.

Our cat's formal name is Professor Chaos Alastor Moody; Eater of Crepes, aka Mr. KittyFace, aka Bitey.

Alyssa does not understand that you can use your arms and hands for more than just beating your singing toy into submission or punching mommy in the face until she sings the right song. She has no idea that you can be gentle. She has no idea that this cat is twice her size and could smother her with his massive paw.

The cat does not understand that this tiny being is in charge.

Alyssa would shove her pudgy little fist into Chaos' side and Chaos would get mad. At first he was just swatting at her with his paws, then she grabbed his paw and tried to put it in her mouth. That was her way of saying "Hello, Mr. KittyFace. My name is Alyssa. Would you like to help me play with this toy?"

I lunged at Alyssa and shoved my arm between her and the cat just in time to get some lovely teeth marks in my forearm.

By the way, does anyone want a mountain sized cat? He makes a great belated holiday present!

The rest of the afternoon was spent saving the baby from certain doom, trying to get her to to take a nap (she refused. I am sooo paying for that right now.) and wondering when my darling husband was going to walk through the door and rescue me from this zoo.

Tonight, rather than skipping the Zoloft all-together until we sort out this refill business, I took half of a pill. Hopefully that will tide me over for a day or two. I only have a pill and a half left, so we'd better get this figured out fast.

Who knows what adventures are in store for tomorrow.

The Aftermath

I just realized that I never made the obligatory Christmas post! It was a very good year. First off, I got my baby back-- which is really all I needed-- and then I got to see my parents and got extra presents on top of it! Best. Christmas. Ever.

I found some killer sales and used my work discount to my advantage when shopping, so recession Christmas actually ended up being more fruitful than 'good economy' Christmas.

For my husband, I got him a Flip video and a 14 piece stainless steel cookware set (then a few small things like a version of Jenga that's got the pieces shaped like bones and a stuffed, mounted Cthulhu head), and then he got a buttload of giftcards. I got a metal detector, an awesome ring with Ally's birthstone, matching earrings, the Wizard of OZ 70th anniversary collectors limited edition set, and Princess by Vera Wang.

From a coworker, I got a muffin pan that makes dino shaped muffins! How awesome is that!?

Then there's Ally. She hit the jackpot. I think she has just about every toy made for her age range that V-Tech makes, plus the Fisher Price educational toys. She got a high chair, a bunch of books so that she can have bedtime stories, and several stuffed animals larger than she is.

Plus clothes. She got lots of clothes.

Naturally, about the time we give up on the move and start settling in to our household again, my husband finally gets his order. They are supposed to arrive tomorrow.

Awesome!

We think we found a house (well within our price range. With my husband's living allowance, we will actually be making money by owning a home.) it's modest but it has a really great backyard!

Thanks to the internet, I found instructions on how to make a solar panel and wind turbine, so if we get the house we're going to give that a shot and take advantage of the eco friendly renovation tax break. We have also decided that with me staying at home, we can save on certain expenses by doing things the old fashioned way. For instance, we will be line drying our clothes rather than using the clothes dryer. We will still have one in case of emergency (I need pants in an hour! Why are there no clean pants!) but since the house uses an evaporative cooler rather than refrigerated air, it is in our best interest to keep the house as humid as possible.

Plus, I will finally have a garden.

The goal is to be as resourceful as possible, so we will be building rather than buying and upcycling whatever we can. Fortunately, this will lead to greener living and hopefully give Alyssa a better appreciation of the world around her.

Or she may just thing that we were cheap.

Either way, it'll be a good thing for us, I think.

Happy New Year!

So far this year, I have taken a lovely nap with my daughter, watched a few movies (most recently, Elmo in Grouchland, which I had never seen. Surprisingly, I liked it. So did Alyssa.) and talked to my parents for a bit.

We discussed, among other things, how we want to spell the shortened version of Alyssa. So far, no one seems to agree on the spelling. I've been using Allie, my husband was doing Alley, my mom uses Aly, and everyone else can't even spell Alyssa much less something shorter. I think we'll go with Ally... then again, that's already a word. Maybe I'll just call her Alice.

Aside from that, I came up with some resolutions. Normally, I don't put a lot of thought into them because I figure it will never happen anyway, but this year I really want to put some effort into it. Mostly because I'm starting to notice that I'm getting older and I feel like I should have done something more with my life. Anyway, here goes!

1. Spend more time outside.

Currently, I'm nervous about taking Ally outside since there's so much smog and it gets really windy and people here are crazy. When we move, I want to get bikes so that we can go riding on the weekends. I want to invest in some good camping equipment so that we can instill an appreciation for the outdoors, and hopefully show our daughter that we need to preserve nature.

Also, it's fun.

2. I want to read at least one story per day to Ally.

This seems pretty easy, but right now she has the attention span of a turnip and the energy of a hummingbird, so it's a lot harder than it sounds.

3. I need to curb my spending.

I'm not sure if we've discussed this before, but I have ADD and one of the less fun symptoms is compulsive shopping. In the past it wasn't much of an issue because my job always covered the rest of our expenses and we still had enough left over to shop every now and then. Thanks to my wonderful ex-job, we have been able to fully pay off the last remaining student loan and put enough cash into savings that we can live comfortably without me having to work. As long as we stick to the budget.

4. I want to start making gifts rather than buying them.

I think this might help me curb my spending a bit. When I go shopping I see a lot of awesome things that just scream someones name at me. So I buy it for them. I love giving gifts. I also love making things. I think handmade gifts are more special than store bought ones, but I never really had the time to put into really making something awesome for someone. I hope that I will be able to now that I have an awesome little helper.


Isn't she adorable?

By the way, she got her two front teeth for Christmas. How awesome is that?

5. Stay on top of the chores.

We have a habit of letting things get a little piled up before we declutter/do laundry/clean out the fridge. It's so true that if you just spend a little bit of time each day, you can keep the chaos to a minimum and still have a happy, functioning household. However, life gets in the way. My biggest goal of the year is to get organized and stay organized. If I just take an hour each day to make sure everything gets put in it's place, I can keep the housework caught up and we will all be able to stretch out and have some breathing room. This is going to be the hardest thing on the list, so don't you dare wag your finger if you stop by and the clothes aren't put away and I have to clean off the couch for you to sit down.

If you want to see me, you're welcome to drop by any time. If you want to see my house, please call to make an appointment at least three weeks in advance.