Being a stay at home mom is pretty awesome. Most days.
Then there are the days when you keep glancing at the clock, waiting for your spouse to come home so that you can get a few seconds to catch your breath.
Right now, we are experiencing an atypical lull in the daily excitement. Probably because Alyssa refused to take her nap until she was so exhausted that she just couldn't take it anymore.
So, rather than cleaning or doing laundry... or napping... I'm taking this moment to reflect.
As I explained to my husband before we moved, living in base housing typically costs more than it is worth. "How is that? I thought it was free!" you may be asking yourself.
Oh, no. Allow me to explain.
Base housing isn't what it used to be.
Recently, the Air Force decided that they were going to privatize their housing. Meaning that another company comes in to build and maintain the homes. Since the Air Force gives you a housing allotment each month, that goes straight to the new company. This is a great thing if you are in one of the newer houses with the new appliances, ceiling fans and refrigerated air. This kind of sucks if you get stuck in the old houses.
At this base, the old housing was built in the 50's using a very interesting floorplan. Also, rather than refrigerated air, you get evaporative cooling; more commonly known as a 'swamp cooler'. "Why is it called a swamp cooler?" you probably aren't asking yourself. Because it blows water cooled air into your home, upping the relative humidity and creating a cooling effect of about 20 degrees.
April 1st, it was above 90 degrees in our home. That is not a joke.
I called.
I let the woman know that it was 94 degrees inside our house at that very moment. She called me a lair. "That's impossible. It's only 65 outside. Are you sure your heat isn't on?"
Yeah lady, I'm sure. And rather than 65, it was 79 outside... That's why it was 90+. Not because I live in a magical home of heating.
She asked me if I had our ceiling fans on.
Ummm... we don't have ceiling fans.
However, I did put an oscillating fan in each room to try and make us as comfortable as I could.
She said that maintenance would be out the very next day to install ceiling fans. Might I add that they have YET to show up even 2 weeks later.
Anyway... we got bumped up on the list and they are here to fix our shit today.
Right now.
As I type this.
On a side note- I get very cranky when I'm hot and that leads to posts like this. I apologize.
I've been having to take Alyssa over to other people's houses during the day so that she can be comfortable. Oh yeah, did I mention the fact that most of the people in the squadron (of the same rank and below, so don't even start that shit with me) have refrigerated air so they have been comfortable this whole time?
Did I also mention that we pay the exact same amount to live in the old ghetto housing as they do in the new awesome housing?
Did I mention that it's almost the same amount that we were paying for our apartment in Las Vegas?
I regret, more and more each day, that we didn't buy a cheap house off base.
But I do have to count my blessings. We could be like some of our friends and still have to pay a mortgage on a house in Las Vegas, as well as pay for the privatized housing. In fact, most of the families that are in that situation are living off base because they can't afford to live on base.
Yeah, it's not as inexpensive as everyone makes it out to be.
If we had purchased the inexpensive house we were in love with, we would actually be banking about $500 a month from my husband's housing allowance.
So yeah. When our lease is up we will probably be moving off base.
There is a patch of land for sale not too far from here, and I really thought about getting it. We could easily put a trailer on it, or even start construction on a house.
Right now, my husband plans to get out of the Air Force when his time is up. We love this place and we don't want to leave, so he wants to work as a private contractor. He would be in the same squadron he is now, working the same (or better) hours, and getting paid over 3x as much.
I think it's a good plan, but I kind of hope he re-enlists. If he makes a career out of it, he can retire from the Air Force at 42 and either continue to work elsewhere without losing any of his retirement benefits, or do something else.
In other news, Alyssa has most certainly been eating her Wheaties. She's climbing up the bookcases (which are all anchored to the walls) lifting, screaming, punching, pulling, banging and crawling on everything in sight.
Plus, she's taken a few steps!
It really looks like she's going to be walking by her birthday.
Part of me is excited, but part of me is afraid... Walking. Next thing you know she'll be using the potty by herself, going to Kindergarten and then, eventually, college.
She's getting too grown up too fast.
Is there a pause button? Can't we stay at this stage just a little bit longer?
It isn't fair, I tell you. They grow too fast.
Maybe we should have another one....
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Now that Helena is out of the way...
I can move on to more interesting things.
So... We moved! We still haven't gotten everything unpacked, but we are slowly getting everything together.
Right now it looks more like we are taping an audition for 'Hoarders' than like we actually live here.
But, regardless, we are in base housing, so that's a good thing. We would have been making a good chunk of money if we had bought a cheap house in town, but with my Mammaw passing and our car dying, it just wasn't an option at the time. We are still looking because our lease is up in a year, but we can't even get ready to buy anything for a while.
There are some really nice houses in this town though.
I've started making friends with the squadron wives, so it isn't quite as lonely here as it was in Las Vegas. In the time it took me to drive to work, I can drive to a different town and explore all of the stores that we don't have here in BFE. There's even some really great spas an hour and a half away.
And, unlike Las Vegas, their prices are very reasonable.
We are already so much happier here than we were in Las Vegas and with any luck, things will just keep getting better.
On a side note: My in-laws are coming to visit in June. Pray for us.
So... We moved! We still haven't gotten everything unpacked, but we are slowly getting everything together.
Right now it looks more like we are taping an audition for 'Hoarders' than like we actually live here.
But, regardless, we are in base housing, so that's a good thing. We would have been making a good chunk of money if we had bought a cheap house in town, but with my Mammaw passing and our car dying, it just wasn't an option at the time. We are still looking because our lease is up in a year, but we can't even get ready to buy anything for a while.
There are some really nice houses in this town though.
I've started making friends with the squadron wives, so it isn't quite as lonely here as it was in Las Vegas. In the time it took me to drive to work, I can drive to a different town and explore all of the stores that we don't have here in BFE. There's even some really great spas an hour and a half away.
And, unlike Las Vegas, their prices are very reasonable.
We are already so much happier here than we were in Las Vegas and with any luck, things will just keep getting better.
On a side note: My in-laws are coming to visit in June. Pray for us.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Helena: The long awaited final chapter
Sorry I've been so sparse with my updates. We are still trying to unpack and I'm a mother of a 9 month old, Oh... and an Avon Lady. It can all become quite time consuming.
So, my parents agreed to watch Ally while we went out with some friends to get dinner. Being the awesome kids we are, we got my parents some ice cream (before dinner... yeah, deserts first!) from Marble Slab as a reward and then we went to Burger King to get food. Well, my husband and I wanted Rally's, since we haven't lived near one in a long time, but no one else did so we went to Burger King first (It's a good thing I didn't want Burger King because after this, I wouldn't have eaten anything in that bag and I have not gone to any location since.)
We pulled up to the order thing and waited to place our order. Two of the three people ordering wanted a chicken sandwich with a different kind of sauce. You know, THEIR way? Well, we were told that they couldn't do that. I was notified that the very same location had done it for them before so I relayed that to the order taker. He was silent for a minute and then told us that it may have been another manager but that he couldn't do it. No big deal, whatever. From the back, my husband yelled "I thought it was 'Have it Your Way!' to which there was no response. A different guy came over the speaker and asked if we wanted to order anything. All three orderers got chicken sandwiches but they each wanted them differently.
Everything was fine and dandy and we were laughing and joking and had moved on to another topic while waiting to pay.
The 'manager' comes to the window to take our payment and the first thing out of his mouth (Note: I greeted him with a smile and a 'hi') is "Do you want to pay for your fucking food or keep calling us a bunch of assholes?"
Say what?
"Um, excuse me?"
"You heard me. We can hear you as soon as you pull up" he started waving his headset at me. "And the whole restaurant heard what you said.
I was stunned. "Sir, we didn't call you that. I'm very sorry if you misunderstood something that we said, but we aren't mad about anything."
"Whatever, we all heard it" he slammed the window and went to run my card.
Amongst ourselves, we discussed what the hell just happened. We ran over the entire thing again and couldn't even come up with anything that sounded like what he accused us of saying.
He came back to the window and threw my card at me.
Again, we tried to resolve the situation but he just slammed the window in my face. At this point, I was pissed.
He came back and threw the food at us "Have a great night, assholes". I calmly asked for his manager, he responded "I am the manager! 'Mike -somethingorother-"
"Okay, cool. Can I have your corporate phone number so I can file a formal complaint?"
"It's on the receipt. Goodnight."
Well that would be great except he didn't give us a receipt.
My Mammaw had just died, I had put up with a lot of bullshit from American Airlines and my in-laws, and I was not about to feel bad because some jerk thought we called him something that we didn't.
Eff that.
We went and my husband and I got food somewhere else. The whole time I was ranting and raging about Burger King. I made sure the guy at the window knew that I was not talking about him or anyone in his wonderful establishment.
After we got our food, we went to my parent's house to eat our dinner. I was mad the whole time and ended up calling the only Burger King phone number that we could find, which was to take a satisfaction survey.... It was a 25 minute survey and we waited through the whooooole thing. Finally, at the end, you were able to leave open comments about the store. After we were done, I just couldn't let it go. I needed to have some kind of closure.
I was going to make a blog dedicated to our story and write complaint after complaint until justice was served. I had also planned to contact a lawyer and sue for harassment and damages.
Well, I talked to a lawyer and he was very eager to take the case. Fortunately, my mom talked some sense into me and I decided to just let it go. The lawyer was sure that Burger King would settle out of court but my mom mentioned what it could potentially do to my husbands career if it went to court and we lost.
I still think they should have refunded our money.
Anyway... we were supposed to go have lunch with my in-laws the next day and we were going to meet halfway. Well, last minute they decided that didn't work for them and wanted us to drive all the way out. I pointed out that if we did that, we couldn't stay as long since we would have to figure in the extra time driving there and back.
We made a counter suggestion that if we were going to drive all the way out there, why didn't they go pick up or make lunch so that we could all eat together and spend a little more quality time. We already had plans that night and they couldn't be moved around since we were leaving the next day.
My mother-in-law started screaming "NO!" at my husband and eventually hung up on him. She started throwing everything in our faces: the fact that we stayed with them for two days, that they let us borrow a car and that they even drove to the airport to meet us.
Since it was obviously such a big deal, we offered to pay rent on the car and for the time we stayed at their house.
That just fueled the fire.
She hung up again and told everyone that we weren't coming.
That started world war 3, with both his family and mine. My parents can't stand the way they act and treat us, and they can't stand the fact that we have to share our time.
Considering we were there for my Mammaw's FUNERAL, I think it was really gracious of my family to not throw a fit. You know, we didn't have to go see them at all. We were not there for a social call. At my Mammaw's visitation, they told everyone how they are coming out here for Ally's birthday and then when we started arguing, my mother-in-law said that they didn't know if they could afford it.
While with his family, everyone seemed to forget that my grandmother had just died. We lived with the woman for 12 years or so and she had just died. Yet I had to put on a happy face and deal with everyone saying how glad they were that we were there. Really? I would rather of stayed in New Mexico and finished unpacking and have my Mammaw still be alive.
Anyway, we finally show up at my husband's grandma's house so we can figure out what the hell is going on, and I got out of the car to take Ally in and change her. Before I could even get Alyssa's pants off, my mother in law had jumped in the car with my husband and my father in law, and told him to drive forty minutes away to pick up food. Then they stopped at walmart on the way back. By the time they actually got back, we had to eat and leave.
Fortunately, I got to talk to the rest of the family while they were gone.
First thing, his Nana hugged me with tears in her eyes and said "Please don't be mad at me. I called your mom to see what was going on. We can't believe -mother-in-law- is acting like this."
I assured her that I wasn't mad at her and that I knew she had nothing to do with it.
While my in-laws were gone with my husband, we all sat there and talked about what was going on. Evidently, that is the only time the situation was addressed.
I have not had a chance to talk to them about their behavior, but when they come down for Alyssa's birthday, you can bet your ass the fur will fly. I am not going to have our family torn up emotionally all the time. I had to live through it when I was growing up (my mom had a bad mother-in-law too), I've had to put up with it since before we got married, I am NOT doing that to Alyssa.
I'm a grown up, I can deal with it.... she's just a baby.
So, after a very tense dinner, we got back to my parents house and I had to be all perky because we had company over.
Once everything settled down, my mom and I got to sit down and talk.... Instead of consoling each other and grieving our loss, my mom had to help me come up with a plan to deal with my in-laws.
She had to go to bed early because she worked in the morning. She requested that we not take Ally by her office since she knew it would be too emotional for her to deal with. That night, my in-laws called and demanded that we bring Alyssa by my mother-in-laws clinic so that she could say goodbye.
It is only because I love my husband that we went. I had already told him that if Alyssa was asleep, we weren't going to wake her up... but wouldn't you know, she was wide awake.
I kept my mouth shut the whole time.
My mother-in-law tried to hug me, but I stopped her. Any physical contact would have just resulted in a lawsuit and I didn't need to deal with that right then.
Anyway, we left and went to pick up my husbands dad since he was going to drive us to the airport and get his car back. The only thing I said was "The behavior displayed yesterday is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. When would be a good time for us to discuss a resolution?"
I didn't say another word to him the entire way there or while we were waiting to check in for our flight.
It was all I could do to keep from screaming my frustration at him.
I offered no hugs or pleasantries when we departed and we had a fairly uneventful flight to our new home.
The next morning, however, our car decided to die.
It was well over $1,000 to get it fixed. For the first time in two years, we have a balance on a credit card. I'm paying it off next month.
We had a string of bad luck for a while, but things are finally starting to turn around.
Let's just hope it holds out.
So, my parents agreed to watch Ally while we went out with some friends to get dinner. Being the awesome kids we are, we got my parents some ice cream (before dinner... yeah, deserts first!) from Marble Slab as a reward and then we went to Burger King to get food. Well, my husband and I wanted Rally's, since we haven't lived near one in a long time, but no one else did so we went to Burger King first (It's a good thing I didn't want Burger King because after this, I wouldn't have eaten anything in that bag and I have not gone to any location since.)
We pulled up to the order thing and waited to place our order. Two of the three people ordering wanted a chicken sandwich with a different kind of sauce. You know, THEIR way? Well, we were told that they couldn't do that. I was notified that the very same location had done it for them before so I relayed that to the order taker. He was silent for a minute and then told us that it may have been another manager but that he couldn't do it. No big deal, whatever. From the back, my husband yelled "I thought it was 'Have it Your Way!' to which there was no response. A different guy came over the speaker and asked if we wanted to order anything. All three orderers got chicken sandwiches but they each wanted them differently.
Everything was fine and dandy and we were laughing and joking and had moved on to another topic while waiting to pay.
The 'manager' comes to the window to take our payment and the first thing out of his mouth (Note: I greeted him with a smile and a 'hi') is "Do you want to pay for your fucking food or keep calling us a bunch of assholes?"
Say what?
"Um, excuse me?"
"You heard me. We can hear you as soon as you pull up" he started waving his headset at me. "And the whole restaurant heard what you said.
I was stunned. "Sir, we didn't call you that. I'm very sorry if you misunderstood something that we said, but we aren't mad about anything."
"Whatever, we all heard it" he slammed the window and went to run my card.
Amongst ourselves, we discussed what the hell just happened. We ran over the entire thing again and couldn't even come up with anything that sounded like what he accused us of saying.
He came back to the window and threw my card at me.
Again, we tried to resolve the situation but he just slammed the window in my face. At this point, I was pissed.
He came back and threw the food at us "Have a great night, assholes". I calmly asked for his manager, he responded "I am the manager! 'Mike -somethingorother-"
"Okay, cool. Can I have your corporate phone number so I can file a formal complaint?"
"It's on the receipt. Goodnight."
Well that would be great except he didn't give us a receipt.
My Mammaw had just died, I had put up with a lot of bullshit from American Airlines and my in-laws, and I was not about to feel bad because some jerk thought we called him something that we didn't.
Eff that.
We went and my husband and I got food somewhere else. The whole time I was ranting and raging about Burger King. I made sure the guy at the window knew that I was not talking about him or anyone in his wonderful establishment.
After we got our food, we went to my parent's house to eat our dinner. I was mad the whole time and ended up calling the only Burger King phone number that we could find, which was to take a satisfaction survey.... It was a 25 minute survey and we waited through the whooooole thing. Finally, at the end, you were able to leave open comments about the store. After we were done, I just couldn't let it go. I needed to have some kind of closure.
I was going to make a blog dedicated to our story and write complaint after complaint until justice was served. I had also planned to contact a lawyer and sue for harassment and damages.
Well, I talked to a lawyer and he was very eager to take the case. Fortunately, my mom talked some sense into me and I decided to just let it go. The lawyer was sure that Burger King would settle out of court but my mom mentioned what it could potentially do to my husbands career if it went to court and we lost.
I still think they should have refunded our money.
Anyway... we were supposed to go have lunch with my in-laws the next day and we were going to meet halfway. Well, last minute they decided that didn't work for them and wanted us to drive all the way out. I pointed out that if we did that, we couldn't stay as long since we would have to figure in the extra time driving there and back.
We made a counter suggestion that if we were going to drive all the way out there, why didn't they go pick up or make lunch so that we could all eat together and spend a little more quality time. We already had plans that night and they couldn't be moved around since we were leaving the next day.
My mother-in-law started screaming "NO!" at my husband and eventually hung up on him. She started throwing everything in our faces: the fact that we stayed with them for two days, that they let us borrow a car and that they even drove to the airport to meet us.
Since it was obviously such a big deal, we offered to pay rent on the car and for the time we stayed at their house.
That just fueled the fire.
She hung up again and told everyone that we weren't coming.
That started world war 3, with both his family and mine. My parents can't stand the way they act and treat us, and they can't stand the fact that we have to share our time.
Considering we were there for my Mammaw's FUNERAL, I think it was really gracious of my family to not throw a fit. You know, we didn't have to go see them at all. We were not there for a social call. At my Mammaw's visitation, they told everyone how they are coming out here for Ally's birthday and then when we started arguing, my mother-in-law said that they didn't know if they could afford it.
While with his family, everyone seemed to forget that my grandmother had just died. We lived with the woman for 12 years or so and she had just died. Yet I had to put on a happy face and deal with everyone saying how glad they were that we were there. Really? I would rather of stayed in New Mexico and finished unpacking and have my Mammaw still be alive.
Anyway, we finally show up at my husband's grandma's house so we can figure out what the hell is going on, and I got out of the car to take Ally in and change her. Before I could even get Alyssa's pants off, my mother in law had jumped in the car with my husband and my father in law, and told him to drive forty minutes away to pick up food. Then they stopped at walmart on the way back. By the time they actually got back, we had to eat and leave.
Fortunately, I got to talk to the rest of the family while they were gone.
First thing, his Nana hugged me with tears in her eyes and said "Please don't be mad at me. I called your mom to see what was going on. We can't believe -mother-in-law- is acting like this."
I assured her that I wasn't mad at her and that I knew she had nothing to do with it.
While my in-laws were gone with my husband, we all sat there and talked about what was going on. Evidently, that is the only time the situation was addressed.
I have not had a chance to talk to them about their behavior, but when they come down for Alyssa's birthday, you can bet your ass the fur will fly. I am not going to have our family torn up emotionally all the time. I had to live through it when I was growing up (my mom had a bad mother-in-law too), I've had to put up with it since before we got married, I am NOT doing that to Alyssa.
I'm a grown up, I can deal with it.... she's just a baby.
So, after a very tense dinner, we got back to my parents house and I had to be all perky because we had company over.
Once everything settled down, my mom and I got to sit down and talk.... Instead of consoling each other and grieving our loss, my mom had to help me come up with a plan to deal with my in-laws.
She had to go to bed early because she worked in the morning. She requested that we not take Ally by her office since she knew it would be too emotional for her to deal with. That night, my in-laws called and demanded that we bring Alyssa by my mother-in-laws clinic so that she could say goodbye.
It is only because I love my husband that we went. I had already told him that if Alyssa was asleep, we weren't going to wake her up... but wouldn't you know, she was wide awake.
I kept my mouth shut the whole time.
My mother-in-law tried to hug me, but I stopped her. Any physical contact would have just resulted in a lawsuit and I didn't need to deal with that right then.
Anyway, we left and went to pick up my husbands dad since he was going to drive us to the airport and get his car back. The only thing I said was "The behavior displayed yesterday is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. When would be a good time for us to discuss a resolution?"
I didn't say another word to him the entire way there or while we were waiting to check in for our flight.
It was all I could do to keep from screaming my frustration at him.
I offered no hugs or pleasantries when we departed and we had a fairly uneventful flight to our new home.
The next morning, however, our car decided to die.
It was well over $1,000 to get it fixed. For the first time in two years, we have a balance on a credit card. I'm paying it off next month.
We had a string of bad luck for a while, but things are finally starting to turn around.
Let's just hope it holds out.
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