Letting my daughter stay with my parents and my in-laws has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Emotionally, I'm hanging by a thread.

To add to my stress level, my husband was told that we are going to be moving in December. I will have to stay behind, all alone, until I get that stupid effing bonus or else every sacrifice we have made will all be for nothing.

Here's the scoop. It takes me an hour to get to work each day so basically with my commute, I devote an extra 10 hours a week to my job-- unpaid.

A while back they started making us do 30 minutes of mandatory overtime each day. Cool. fine. whatever.

Yesterday, we got news that instead of thirty minutes each day we are now required to do 8 HOURS A WEEK. 4 hours of which have to be during peak times, from 4-8pm Monday through thursday or from 6am to 8pm on Saturday.

Kay.

I work 11-8 with Tuesday/Wednesday off. This means that I will be forced to either go in crazy early on Saturday or show up on a day off. Plus squeeze in 4 hours of overtime elsewhere.

So.. this takes my workweek from 50 hours to 58 hours... If I go in on my day off, 60 hours with the commute. Plus, since it will be at peak traffic times, it could easily become 62 hours.

The crap, Job. The crap.

It's one thing to put in an extra hour or so if you live close by... its a whole different story if you live across town and have to drive really far to get there.

If you live five minutes away, working 2 extra hours make it a long day, but it's totally do-able on a regular basis.

If you live an hour away, that makes for one long ass day, plus unsafe driving conditions. Hello exhaustion!

This bonus is seeming more and more unattainable... I wonder if that's part of their master plan.

Now, just imagine if I had to throw childcare into the mix. When we were using our sitter on base, my commute went from 2 hours a day to 3.5 hours. If I were topping that off with crazy ass overtime, I would die. Die, I tell you.

I am so tempted to just quit and go get my baby. I know I would be happier. It wouldn't be possible to be more miserable than I am right now.

My Husband is still working overnights, so we never see each other. I feel so alone and I miss my baby. Emotionally, I don't know if I'm going to make it through Christmas at my job. I heard a rumor that they may be handing out the bonuses early to boost morale. If they do, I'm out.

I will get my daughter and live happily ever after.

Let's hope for the best and dread the worst, when the overtime really kicks in after thanksgiving.

Honestly, this year, it's really hard to think of something to be thankful for, but I'm sure I'll come up with something. I can always see the silver lining and I refuse to let this situation be any different.

So good I had to share....

I've been super busy trying to get my Nano done. I'm at about 25,000 words, so I'm halfway there! To make up for my lack of posting, here's a quick recipe.

I made a super awesome dinner last night and I wanted to share it with you.
(serves 2-4)

1 bag of cheese and broccoli rice
1 pouch of tuna
2 tbsp red pepper alfredo sauce
garlic powder to taste
onion powder to taste
1 pouch crushed red pepper (like, from pizza hut)

make rice according to instructions adding tuna after the water boils (when you turn the heat down.)

Wait 5-6 minutes then add garlic powder, alfredo sauce, onion powder and crushed red pepper.

Serve with buttered wheat toast.

It only takes about 15 minutes from start to finish and it's really good.

Spotty

Sorry for the lack of posting. Rather than doing NaBloPoMo, I'm doing NaNoWriMo! I'm currently at 12,000 words. Only 38,000 to go!

there has been a bit of drama in the air lately, some of it about my NaNo story. Alyssa is in AR with her grandparents. I've been missing a bit of work due to my emotional state. Last night I got more sleep than I've had in the last two weeks combined, I could go right back to bed and sleep that long again.

Father in law called yelling at me yesterday. I screamed at him. It was lovely. I have never spoken so forcefully to my husbands family but he had no right to yell at me. Especially since I was supposed to be at work then anyway.

Then I called my mom and learned some interesting things about what my in laws have been subjecting my baby to.

I don't know that they will be caring for her in the future. I may just go and get her. I'm so mad I could spit nails.

We are officially moving. More info once I'm in the 'safety zone'.

One of my only friends in Las Vegas forced me to buy an ipod touch (she even paid for part of it... how awesome is that?!) and I've been spending waaaayyy too much time with the silly aps.

Then again, after we worked, like, a 17 hour shift, I think I deserve a little mindless fun.

Oh yeah, we had hella overtime at work.

It was a little awesome.

this just in: working for a living sucks.

I will post a more thorough update soon, but for now, I need to write like the wind!