eerrrr...

So, I had some skills all lined up and accomplished some of them, but I honestly do not remember what they were.

I can tell you about my skill of yesterday and my skill for today, but that's about as far back as I can go.

My skill yesterday may sound absurd to anyone that wasn't there, but believe me... it is worthy of making the list.

I managed to not pee all over myself.

Now, for many, this comes naturally as they tend to take periodic bathroom breaks. I have a terrible fear of public restrooms and will only use one if I absolutely have to. Last night, I had to.

For those of you that pay any attention at all to my twitter bar, you know that I work for one of the most amazing companies in the universe. If you have ever heard me talk about it, you know how completely devoted I am... and no, they don't actually pay me to say that. I am in love with my job, and I can't imagine ever working anywhere else. (well... maybe some day...)

Periodically, we have amazing parties and we actually close the call center for a few hours so that everyone can attend (if you have ever worked in a call center, you know how crazy that is... but yeah. we do it.)

Last night, we had our Vendor Party at Rain nightclub in The Palms casino. I wish so bad that everyone could have been there, because it is probably the best party I have ever been to in my life.

Thanks to our awesome customers, the company pays for us to get drunk a few times a year. Knowing how much we all love a good drink (or 20) they also provide vouchers for a cab ride or for a designated driver. The designated driver program lets you and your buddies drink all you want, and then you call up the DD guys and they come get you, and your car, and deliver you safely back to your home.

How amazing is that?

So.... we're at the party, right? We get there at like, 9 or something, and the first thing you see when you walk through the door is a bar. Stop for a drink. Then you walk a little further, and theres a huge ice sculpture... with another bar! Stop for a drink.... then you may your way on down, and there are these girls offering alcoholic snow cones. Everyone loves a good snow cone, so you have two or three and keep on movin to the next drink station. Now, you just got to the party and you've already had 5 drinks. There's 3 hours left in the party.

The theme was Fire and Ice, and I think they did an amazing job of pulling it off. The outside was all Ice and inside was Fire.

Get this, they even had penguins. One of the small pools was drained, filled with salt water, and chilled so that 4 penguins could entertain us. We were not allowed to pet the penguins (though the CEO got to later) so we went back down the stairs and ran right into, you guessed it, another bar.

During the night, we sat down for quite a bit and just watched the people walking by. We amused ourselves and laughed a lot, grabbing a snow cone here and there as the girls walked by.

Eventually we made it inside and stopped at another bar. There were people dancing and there was this really cool fire show that I only vaguely watched. I'm not quite sure how many drinks I'd had by this point, but I know that by the end of the night I had downed, like, 20 glasses of Jack and Coke and had eaten a crapload of snow cones. The one thing that saved me was that the snow cones were full of Vodka. For some reason, Vodka does strange things to me and I think it kept me from absorbing all of the other alcohol. I really think I should have passed out.

It could have been the fact that I loaded up on pizza before we left, but who knows.

The best part was that no matter who you were standing next to, they were your best friend. Not just because you were both drunk, but because that is the kind of team and family spirit that we work so hard to keep alive in the company.

I nearly stumbled right into the CEO and he just smiled and greeted me like we hadn't seen each other in years. Everyone was smiling and happy, and it reminded me that I am so lucky to work for the company.

After a bit of drunken flailing (dancing) we went back outside for a cigarette and a snow cone. At Midnight, the free drinks stopped and most of us headed for the door (for us, that meant that we had been drinking for 3 hours straight and it was time to go home.)

We stopped for a few minutes so that My Husband could put some money in a slot machine. I don't remember how much he won, but we ended up giving it to the DD guy.

At this point, we stumbled and chatted our way to the doors and parked ourselves on the benches outside. My Husband called the DD guys and it was going to take about 45 minutes for them to arrive. We sat and chatted with people as they were leaving and then loaded into the car.

It was then that I realized I hadn't gone to the bathroom all day, and I had an incredibly full bladder. There wasn't time for me to go back inside, so I figured I could just hold it until I got home.

BIG MISTAKE.

Halfway home I made it very clear that I was not going to make it much further and My Husband convinced the DD guy to take us to a gas station so we could fill up the gas tank, and so I could empty my own tank.

Our Roommate had to assist me while I was exiting the car, and entering the gas station. The attendant (I see this guy weekly) just kept laughing. As soon as I got directions to the bathroom, I ran (or, you know, stumbled) my way over there. I don't remember if I locked the door or flushed, but I know that I washed my hands and nearly did a face plant when I tried to stand up.

I was about 5 minutes away from destroying the back seat of the car.

I don't know how much we tipped the guy, but it was so worth it to save myself that embarrassment.

When we got home, I ate a little bit more in an attempt to stop myself from having a hangover. It didn't really work.

At some point I remember My Husband lost it and had to evacuate his stomach. I am terrified of throwing up, so I managed to keep everything down. As soon as I started to actually feel sick, I fell asleep.

For some unknown reason, I woke up at 7:45. Note, I had just gone to sleep a few hours earlier.

I was thirsty, my head hurt, and I was slightly hungry. I got up, had a coke, some pizza and two excedrine, then tried to go back to sleep.

It took about an hour, but I finally did it.

When I woke up, I felt fantastic! I did not want to get out of bed, but I felt fine.

Today's skill was treating a hangover and I think I did an amazing job. I've never really had a bad hangover before, and I think I took all of the necessary precautions to make this one as pleasant as possible.

When I got to work, I took my first call with a glorious smile. I know that I made someones day a little better, and they helped make mine just as awesome.