PLEASE!
Oh my gosh, I don't think this baby is ever going to come out!
My parents came in a few days ago because the doctor told me to be ready for induction on Tuesday if my kidney function did not improve. I came home and told my parents to head on out since we were probably going to have the baby really soon...
My parents got here on Sunday night and it is now Tuesday. I went for my NST today and 'good news!', my kidneys are doing better! Bad news? That means no baby for now. The induction is scheduled for Monday and we should have the baby by next Wednesday.
This means that my parents came out here a week early for no good reason. This means that my mom is missing a week's worth of pay just to hang out and help me clean. This means that they won't get to spend as much time with their granddaughter.
I will be spending at least 3 days in the hospital and I am NOT looking forward to that. I do not like hospitals, I do not like doctors, I sure as shit do not like being hooked up to machines and told that I can't move.
My current plan is to do everything in my power to make this baby come out now. NOW! Even though I'm terrified of the whole labor thing, I can't wait to walk around like a normal person again. I hate having to stop and lean on my shopping cart because I'm having contractions. I hate not being able to keep up with My Husband. I hate feeling like a burden. It's time for things to be somewhat normal again.
Then I think about what having a baby will mean. No more running to the store without loading someone up in the car. No more 'spur of the moment' micro-vacations. No more retail therapy. No more being free to do what I want, when I want. Constantly having this needy little thing to care for... Am I really 'Mommy' material?
I think so. I kind of 'mother' everyone anyway and I'm pretty good with kids even though they get on my nerves. Plus, I rock and I want to show the world just how awesome I am by spreading my genes around. I have so much love that I feel like I need another person to share it with, and who better than my own child?
My brain has a lot of stuff to process and I'm just starting to get to the point where I can think about these things in the context of my own life. It's no longer an abstract idea... I'm going to be a mom. Soon.
It scares the hell out of me, but I'm so ready.
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